213 Things About Me

Since giving birth to my son in May, this blog has taken a more personal direction. I didn’t think I could get much more personal than my book, in which I chronicled my life with my dad. Writing about him so soon after he’d died was challenging to say the least. I was lucky enough to work with my creative partner, Richard Butchins, who I have collaborated with on a number of projects. Without him, the book would simply not have been written. Richard has made all sorts of interesting stuff, such as producing and directing documentaries, writing novels and making art films. Our latest project is a one-woman, one act play called 213 Things About Me. Richard wrote the script, which he’s also directing, I’m performing the monologue. The play is based on the life of one of his friends, Rose. She was an autistic savant who taught […]

Thinspirations

It has been far too long since my last blog post, when I promised that I’d write about mental health as I think discussing the subject openly is helpful. Soon after I wrote those posts I suffered a bout of mental ill health. I had postnatal depression, followed by a period of bi-polar fuelled mania. Thankfully, I am doing much better now and I’ve settled more comfortably into motherhood. Some people talk about their mental health when they are in the clutches of an episode, as Sinade O’ Connor did in a recent Facebook video. Although I think Sinade was courageous to share her misery at the time she was experiencing it, I don’t feel able to do the same. When I’m unwell I know that my judgement is impaired and I could […]

Girl on the Pull

In my last post, I wrote about my bipolar diagnosis. I’d like to take the opportunity to thank everyone who commented and gave such positive feedback. I was a little nervous about laying myself bare, but the response was unexpected and lovely. I will continue with this series on mental health by talking a little more about myself, then go on to comment on mental health issues in a wider context. I mentioned that I have been in therapy since I was 18. To carry on where I left off, it might be useful to talk about my pre-existing conditions that exhibited before I knew I had bipolar. My hope is that sharing my story may be useful to others, particularly as people who suffer from these disorders usually do so in silence. I […]

Bipolar and Me

In a post I published earlier this week, I said that I would be discussing issues around mental health and my own experiences. I hope that by doing so, I might play a very tiny role in reducing the stigma and shame that surrounds mental health illness. In October 2013 I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. For a long time I had suspected that I may be suffering with bipolar. I consulted Dr Google many times and my symptoms were congruent with the diagnosis. I had put off going to see a psychiatrist, as I was frightened of what they might say. I’ve been in therapy since I was 18 and had seen a psychiatrist previously for depression. However, having bipolar seemed more shameful and burdensome than bog standard depression. After a period […]

Back in Business

Last month, I gave birth to a baby boy who we named Charlie. He’s now 6 weeks old and I feel ready to start writing again. I’ve taken a longer hiatus than I intended, but I found during the last few weeks of pregnancy I was unable to concentrate on anything. Even composing a simple text message was challenging, let alone putting together a coherent sentence. I stumbled around in a bovine stupor, wondering if I’d ever be able to think again, let alone write. I feel clear headed now and it’s a blessed relief. I’ve thought for some time that I’d like to alter the focus of my blog. While I still love fashion, I’ll be branching out into other subjects. This isn’t to say that I’ll be abandoning fashion related content. […]

Wear the Walk

I never thought that the 8th month of my pregnancy would be a time for high fashion. The most outre looks are not usually created for my bulbous silhouette. Even though I’m itching to refresh my wardrobe, I don’t want to buy loads of new stuff, given that I’m due to give birth in three weeks. However, I’ve recently discovered Wear the Walk, a new company who I’ve been collaborating with. The brain child of Zoe Partridge, Wear the Walk rents out clothes from dynamic emerging designers. I’ve always been a fan of fresh new talent, which London has in abundant supply. This coat by MINNANHUI is a great example of something that I would love to wear to Fashion Week, but probably wouldn’t buy because of it’s extreme flamboyance. Not that there is anything wrong with that, I’ve […]

Nearly There

I haven’t blogged for over two weeks which is unusual for me. I was completely exhausted last week, not that being tired has ever stopped me in the past. But I’ve noticed pregnancy fatigue is different from anything I’ve ever experienced before. It’s a profound weariness combined with feeling very heavy and weighed down. I’m six weeks away from my due date and I’m really looking forward to pregnancy being over. I’m not only looking forward to meeting our baby, but having my body to myself again. I can’t wait to be able to exercise normally, although I understand that it may take a little time to get to that point. As the weather warms up, I’m even less inclined to wear body-con maternity wear which seems to be de rigueur. I picked up this frock from Mango, which is […]

Body Works

I’m aware that I’ve only  blogged about my pregnancy recently, so I apologise to anyone who is is bored of hearing about it. But I guess having a baby is such an all consuming event, that it’s to be expected. I’ve been galloping apace with my writing projects and I’m churning out 2000 words a day in a desperate scrabble to get everything done before the baby shows up in 8 weeks or so. There’s not a lot of brain space after that work is done. I haven’t really gone into many details about the symptoms of my pregnancy, primarily because there’s nothing of interest to talk about. However, the most challenging thing has been accepting my body as it has altered and grown. I have a history of eating disorders, and although I’ve been well […]

Week by Week

In the early stages of my pregnancy, I knew how far along I was to the day. Months later, I frequently get it wrong. I thought I was 30 weeks gone, but I’ve just checked my calendar and I’ve realised that I’m actually at week 31. This means I have one week less to get stuff done, assuming baby boy rocks up on time. If he’s anything like me, he’ll be late. But I’m not panicking because I’m having a surge of energy and focus and I’m more productive right now than I’ve been in my entire working life. I assume this surge in productivity is just pregnancy hormones doing their thing, but it’s useful nonetheless. I’m still doing my upmost to avoid the scourge of terrible maternity wear. This Lily and Lionel dress is […]

Pregnant Rebel

There are certain rules for how pregnant women should dress, it’s supposedly prudent to choose dark colours and wear lots of stretch jersey. I have rejected these rules as they are restrictive and boring; Bretton stripes and body-con dresses are just not for me. Just because I’m pregnant, I see no reason why my style should be drab. Also, the thought of tight clothes right now makes me feel a bit sick. This ruffled dress by ASOS does not comply with sartorial conventional wisdom, but I care not. It reminds me of Gucci’s SS17 collection, which I rather like. I’ve paired it with blue velvet boots that I found in my local charity shop.

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